Advertising Humor & Quotes
From Tom Antion & Associates


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Advertising is the fine art of making you think you have longed for something all your life that you never heard of before.

Advertising is the fine art of convincing people that debt is better than frustration.

Advertising is the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

Advertising is like marriage. There may be a better way, but what is it?

In good times business people want to advertise. In bad times they have to.

Advertising without research is like shooting an arrow into the air and then looking for a target to catch it with.

If ad agents were smart they would schedule deodorant commercials to follow political ads.

Samson had the right idea about advertising. He took two columns and brought down the house.

Appeal to reason in your advertising and you appeal to four percent of the human race. (Advice given at a 1923 ad conference)

Nothing makes installment buying as easy as the advertising.

Advertising sure brings quick results--last week I advertised for a night watchman--the same night my safe was robbed.

Advertising helps raise the standard of living by raising the standard of longing.

Advertising transforms a yawn into a yearn.

Advertising tells us what unnecessary luxuries we can't do without.

One picture may be worth ten thousand words, but some advertisers believe in using both in the same ad.

Stopping advertising to save money is like stopping your watch to save time.

Call your Congressman now! Demand they stop defacing our billboards with highways.

Advertising has really changed our thinking. This morning my wife put on eye shadow, eyeliner and eyelashes. I said, "What are you doing to your eyes?" She said, "I'm making them look natural."

My kid came back from Sunday school with an illustrated card in her hand. I said, "What have you got there?" She said, "Oh, Just an ad for heaven."

It pays to advertise. Remember there are a lot of peaks in Colorado higher than Pike's Peak--but try to name them.

A country shopkeeper turned down an offer for some really great rates from an ad person. No way! The last time I put in an ad like that, people came in and bought everything I had.

Advertising is effective. My kid was saying grace and said thank you for this daily, slow-rising, butter-crusted, vitamin-enriched bread.

I think this is small business week. If you want to keep your business small, it's easy. Don't advertise.

You know you're getting old when the commercial (ad) for hair restorer is more interesting than the show (magazine).

One of the big disappointments of life is that the person who writes the advertising for the bank is not the one who makes the loans.

A prominent clergyman would not give his opinion of the advertising business, but he did offer to pray for those that make their living at it.

You can always spot somebody from the advertising business. If he/she left his/her troubles on the doorstep, you couldn't see the house.

I've been in the advertising business 20 years now. When I fill out a questionnaire and it says race---I put down rat!

Advertising Executive: yesir, nosir, ulcer

Advertising has to be the most insecure business ever. I know one agency that starts off every memo with: Now fear this!

Joe: I can't understand why you failed in business,
Pete: Too much advertising
Joe: What do you mean too much advertising? You never spent a dime on advertising.
Pete: That's true, but my competitors did.

Definitions:

Ad Agency: 85 percent confusion. 15 percent commission.

Epitaph: A belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been permanently discontinued.

Advertising: The principle reason why the businessman has come to inherit the earth.

Advertising is the mouthpiece of business. James R. Adams

Quotes:

Advertising moves the goods. Anonymous (originated early 1900's)

It pays to advertise. Anonymous (According to the Treasury of Great American Sayings this is one of the best known and most effective business slogans in American history. It gained popularity after World War I)

We are merchants of dreams (popular phrase used by advertising people in the 20's and 30's)

If you think advertising doesn't work, consider the millions of Americans that now think yogurt tastes good. Joe L. Whitley

You can fool all the people all the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough. Joseph E. Levine

Paraphrase of Quote by William Wrigley when asked why he continued to advertise so heavily when his product was already well known: His answer: "A plane goes about 300 MPH. Why doesn't the pilot just turn off the engines and let the plane fly on its own momentum?"

Advertising is like learning--a little can be dangerous. P.T. Barnum

The first explorations of space and time were not by the astronauts, but by advertising. Before we had an astronaut, advertising people were selling space and time and reaching for the moon. Anonymous

If you don't advertise yourself, you'll be advertised by your loving enemies. Elbert Hubbard

You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements. Norman Douglas

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. Mark Twain

We are advertised by our loving friends. William Shakespeare

The advertisements in a newspaper are more full of knowledge in respect to what is going on in a state or community than the editorial columns are. Henry Ward Beecher

Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. Thomas Jefferson

Modern usage of above: We now live in an age where everyone reads the newspaper and the only thing they believe are the ads.

Advertising nourished the consuming power of men...sets up the goal of a better home, better clothing, better food for himself and his family. It spurs individual exertion and greater production. It brings together in fertile union those things which otherwise would not have met. Sir Winston Churchill

It's a short road that has no advertising signs. Anonymous

Time spent in the advertising business seems to create a permanent deformity like the Chinese habit of foot-binding. Dean Acheson

Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted and the trouble is I don't know which half. John Wanamaker

The guy you've really got to reach with your advertisng is the copywriter for you chief rival's advertisin agency. If you can terrorize him, you've got it licked--Howard Gossage

Advertiing Poem

When the client moans and sighs
Make his logo twice the size.
When the client's hopping mad,
Put his picture in the ad.
If he still should prove refractory
Add a picture of his factory

Anon


 







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